Animal-human Marriages

The term "animal-human marriages" could excite a variety of responses. Some would laugh, and some would puke. A few would debate heatedly about the "rightness" of it. Many would forget that we are talking about a marriage between a human being and an animal and fume about gay and lesbian relationships. A glimpse at the discussion boards scattered all over the Internet will prove the truth of the above-mentioned points.

In the first week of January 2006, Sharon Tendler, a British citizen in her forties, married Cindy the dolphin. She said there was nothing perverted about it; she just loves the animal and wants it to have a happy life. The wedding ceremony was simple. Sharon just wore white and gave her love a kiss and a herring. The incident excited the western world so much that it was a hot topic of debate for weeks.

It did not bother us Indians much. Of course, the "westernized" among us talked a great deal about it. The ones who would find nothing absurd about an animal-human marriage probably still haven't heard of it. Anyway, we have stories in our myths about members of the royal family marrying serpents. It used to happen all the time; nothing strange about it. Many a time, marrying a dog, a plant, or some such creature is considered to be the only way to ward off a curse or to correct a flaw in your horoscope.

In November 1977, an Indian in his thirties married a dog. He was not in love with the animal like Sharon was with the dolphin. On the contrary, he had been a dog murderer in the past. Fifteen years ago, he had killed two dogs and, ever since, had been suffering from paralysis and loss of hearing. Marrying a dog was the only way he could atone for his sins.

In neighboring Nepal, tradition has it that marrying a dog in your old age brings you luck. According to the custom of his community, the Tharu community, a 75-year-old Nepali man married a dog for good luck; ironically, the old man died three years later.

The dolphin-woman marriage was a union based on pure love. The dog-man marriages were for either for good luck or to ward off some evil. The media has grabbed a couple of human-animal marriages that were based on lust. The first is the case of Tombe, a Sudanese man who was caught red-handed while having sex with a goat. The owner of the goat sought the help of the village elders who forced the man to marry the goat. When last heard of, the two were still living together. The other incident is that of a Thai man who married his neighbor's female dog because he enjoyed sex with the animal.

The incidents might either scandalize the civilized mind or create great mirth. Ironically, the same people who are either scandalized or amused would have read with great interest accounts of animal-human marriages in fairy tales; for example, the story of beauty who wed the beast, the story of the prince who married the turtle, the story of the poor man's daughter who married the wild polar bear, the little mermaid who fell in love with the prince, and so on and so forth. Mythology is loaded with such accounts. What about Leda and the swan? What about Arjuna who married Uloopi, the serpent princess? Of course, a tale is not reality, one might argue. It isn't, I agree, and while neither condemning nor advocating a human-animal marriage, I wish to point out that the idea is not new; on the other hand, it is old and worn out. Now, it seems to be an excellent idea for a business while, at the same time, being an interesting topic for debate.

All pet lovers will be thrilled to know that you can marry your pet if you want to. Even if you don't wish to marry your pet, this pet-human marriage site is a very interesting sight. Here you will find examples of scores of people happily married to their pets. You can also read moving animal-human love stories. Of course, you are not permitted to have sex with your pet; no, not even to see what the kids look like. Your pet is entitled to half your house and your entire income. The site is happy to marry you to your pet but shakes off all responsibility for what happens afterwards. If, for example, you have a disagreement with Foo-foo or Dido, it is your funeral and you can't go whining to the party that married you. And you definitely can't mistreat your pet just because he or she is now your spouse. Your marriage is recognized neither by the church nor by the state. It is just your personal bond of love with your furry or feathery darling. Animal welfare activists can breathe a sigh of relief and rest assured that no animal has been harmed so far due to these weddings. On the contrary, a few enthusiastic animal brides or bridegrooms have bitten or pecked their human partners' fingers.

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